Why women asking for what they want is a lot like making tomato sauce.

If you make a tomato sauce, you go to the market and get what you need. Certain items are essential for your sauce. Tomatoes, onions, garlic, carrot, thyme, olive oil, let's say.

As you’re cooking it, you discover that you need to add some salt to bring out the flavors. You add it.

You decide to jazz it up bit and add some black olives. Ooops, you don’t have any. Don’t really need them, it would just be nice.

You think, what if I added some butter or maybe anchovies? Again not needed but could elevate the sauce. (Personally love the addition of butter.)

Bananas? Probably not but maybe worth a try?? (I personally have never tried it.) Think of the guy who put peanut butter and chocolate together!

And sometimes your regular recipe isn't enough, you want it a little spicier. Hot peppers, please!

However, as women, we often don’t ask for what we need and want in our lives. Or worse, we just expect others to guess what we want and are disappointed when we don’t get it. Imagine if you decided a little sausage in the tomato sauce would be nice but when you got to the butcher counter you stood silent waiting for him to guess at it. You’d probably walk away with nothing. If you’d asked, assuming he has them, you’d get some!

Even for your sauce, if the store is out of onions, you could make do without OR you could go to another store!

You wouldn’t even think of not getting tomatoes! How stupid would that be.

But often we are afraid to ask for what we want whether asking for a raise or for what we desire from our spouses or partners. And when we do ask, we can't be sure whether we'll get it or not. Sometimes we can be satisfied without it. Sometimes not. Sometimes you can substitute an ingredient. Either way, the pot inevitably gets stirred.

There are a lot of recipes for tomato sauce out there and some yet to be created. Not all sauces are to everyone's taste. But making the one you want, takes getting the ingredients you need. Spaghetti anyone?

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