Why do so many women have kitchen sex fantasies? Why does having sex on a hard and possibly cold kitchen counter seem so seductive?
There are some obvious reasons.
Eating is as sensual experience as sex. When we indulge in food we use all our senses thus making the kitchen the gastronomic boudoir.
Food has become analagous to a type of porn, hence the pervasiveness of foodporn.
When we cook, the kitchen gets hot, like we do when aroused.
When we turn on the oven and it heats up, we put something inside. And when we eat, we put food in our bodies.
We add spice to food to make it more interesting.
Both ‘hot’ and ‘spicy’ are used in sexual terminology.
Some terms of endearment have culinary derivations: honey, cupcake, sweetie.
We even use food to describe some parts of a woman’s body like tomatoes and melons. Not to mention men’s bits like sausage and meat.
There are foods themselves that are purported aphrodisiacs like oysters and chocolate.
Some foods can be used as sex toys. Do I have to spell it out... c-u-c-u-…
About a week or so ago I was listening to Ruth Reichl on NPR describing how she experiences cooking and it occurred to me that there are deeper reasons for the kitchen/sex connection.
Good cooking like good sex requires being present. As Ms Reichl said, with regard to cooking, you have to stay present to watch out for those knives and flames. And being present heightens any experience. If you think back, probably the happiest times you've experienced are when you have lived in the moment. Yoga teaches us to connect with our breath. Focusing on our breath keeps us in the moment. Sometimes even brings us to a state of euphoria.
Cooking also requires you to be vulnerable. When you cook with your heart you are giving something of yourself. Exposing yourself. Allowing yourself to be judged in a way. After all you are attempting to give someone pleasure. Hopefully it will be gratefully received and appreciated.
Cooking well requires submission. Trusting your instincts enough to let go in the process. My best cooking always happens when I just relax into it and let it consume me. Same goes for, ya' know.
If kitchen fantasies are your thing, some or all of the above may apply. I just know it’s hot, if only for the fantasy of it. And that's the great thing about fantasies. You don't actually have to act out on them. Some of us may not want a stove grate pushing into our backs, Fantasies can be arousing simply because they live in our minds. So, if you can stand the heat ...why not dwell on or in the kitchen.